Waverly Earp (croptops) | 11/10 | tfln | Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wynonna Earp (crazygunslinger) | 11/10 | tfln | If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Waverly Earp (croptops) | 11/12 | gen texts | So, about that trip. How much notice does Shorty's need for you to have 3 days off? Medley says he could probably swing it in a month.
Wynonna Earp (middlefinger) | 11/12 | gen texts | So I'm going to try and take Waverly on a trip for a couple days in a month or so. I don't suppose there's anything apocalyptic we already know about around that time?
Waverly Earp (croptops) | 11/17 | tfln | Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Waverly Earp (earper) | 12/22 | tfln | I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Wynonna Earp (middlefinger) | 03/02 | tfln | as of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Waverly Earp (earper) | 03/02 | tfln | I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. You can come over but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Doc Holliday (wildwest) | 03/23 | tfln | we played russian roulette with a revolving nerf gun if you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink
Wynonna Earp (middlefinger) | 03/31 | tfln | Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Doc Holliday (wildwest) | 06/02 | tfln | Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Waverly Earp (earper) | 06/02 | tfln | Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Wynonna Earp (unraisehell) | 08/10 | tfln | This is a "mass text". Has anyone seen my friend's dignity? Seems to have disappeared.
Wynonna Earp (unraisehell) | 08/10 | tfln | yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Waverly Earp (earper) | 08/11 | tfln | I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a backwater, puritan time period.
Wynonna Earp (earps) | 08/11 | tfln | were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Wynonna Earp (earps) | 08/11 | tfln | Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Doc Holliday (stumblebum) | 08/20 | midnight texts | Ms. Haught. Please forgive me for the late correspondence but there has been something steadily gnawing away at me. Would you be so kind as to oblige the inquiry from a madman at twilight hour?
Wynonna Earp (middlefinger) | 08/31 | tfln | Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Wynonna Earp (theearpheir) | 09/21 | tfln | Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wynonna Earp (earps) | 09/28 | tfln | He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Wynonna Earp (unraisehell) | 09/28 | tfln | sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Wynonna Earp (unraisehell) | 12/12 | snowed in meme | I just gave up so many dirty puns by letting Waves go out to get the firewood. I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that this house has very thin walls, and I'm out of earplugs. Can you, like, please keep it to just snuggling?
Wynonna Earp (unraisehell) | 12/14 | tfln | You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Waverly Earp (earper) | 12/14 | tfln | Have you seen my clothes?
Wynonna Earp (earps) | 02/08 | tfln | I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Waverly Earp (earper) | 02/10 | gen texts | If we compare the ability of Revenants to take a hint versus the ability of assholes, no one comes out on top.
Wynonna Earp (middlefinger) | 02/23 | tfln | According to the arrest report, you shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Clearly downhill from there.
Sara Lance (thecanarylives) | 05/24 | tfln | What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Wynonna Earp (unraisehell) | 05/24 | tfln | Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Valkyrie (drunketh) | 05/24 | tfln | Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
Waverly Earp (earper) | 05/25 | tfln | sorry, I promised drunk you that I'd never reveal the secrets shared with me last night, even (or especially) with sober you.
11/10/17 | tfln | Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
11/12/17 | gen texts | So, about that trip. How much notice does Shorty's need for you to have 3 days off? Medley says he could probably swing it in a month.
11/17/17 | tfln | Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
10/19/18 | tfln | Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
11/12/17 | gen texts | So I'm going to try and take Waverly on a trip for a couple days in a month or so. I don't suppose there's anything apocalyptic we already know about around that time?
03/02/18 | tfln | as of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
03/31/18 | tfln | Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
08/31/18 | tfln | Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
02/23/19 | tfln | According to the arrest report, you shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Clearly downhill from there.
02/03/20 | gen texts | you and my sister need to invest in one of those noise machines to put outside her door.
12/22/17 | tfln | I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
08/10/18 | tfln | This is a "mass text". Has anyone seen my friend's dignity? Seems to have disappeared.
08/10/18 | tfln | yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
09/28/18 | tfln | sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
10/19/18 | tfln | Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
10/26/18 | tfln | What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
12/12/18 | snowed in meme | I just gave up so many dirty puns by letting Waves go out to get the firewood. I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that this house has very thin walls, and I'm out of earplugs. Can you, like, please keep it to just snuggling?
12/14/18 | tfln | You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
05/24/19 | tfln | Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
08/11/18 | tfln | were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
08/11/18 | tfln | Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
09/28/18 | tfln | He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
01/11/19 | tfln | I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... I hate you tequila.
02/08/19 | tfln | I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
08/20/18 | midnight texts | Ms. Haught. Please forgive me for the late correspondence but there has been something steadily gnawing away at me. Would you be so kind as to oblige the inquiry from a madman at twilight hour?
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